Why do you call him “your son”? I call him my son because I love him as if he were my own. I love him no matter what he did or had done. I loved him when his biological mother asked me to care for him so she could get help. I loved him the first time I held him in my arms when he was 6 months old. I loved him even though he had not come from my womb. I loved him for the silly little way that he looked at me when I fed him his bottle. I loved him when he sat up for the first time. I loved him when he crawled for the first time. I loved him when he walked for the first time. I loved him when his biological mother couldn’t because she loved her ‘lifestyle’ more than him. I loved him when he threw himself on the floor and screamed for hours on end because he didn’t want to go to bed or sleep in his own bed. I loved him when his biological mother loved alcohol and drugs more than she loved him or his sisters. I loved him when he crawled up on my lap and said ‘ you’re not cushy any more’ (after I had lost weight). I loved him when he looked at me that way, like he was begging me to save him. I loved him when I reported his mother to the authorities. I loved him when he was afraid to be with me because I made a mistake and tried to reunite him with his biological mother. I LOVED HIM more than myself when I gave him up for adoption to the foster care system, because he didn’t trust me anymore. I loved him when all I wanted to do was see him every day but I knew he needed to be secure with his new family so I maintained minimal contact. I loved him enough to let him go. I loved him when he reached out to me and wanted to come back into my life. I loved him when he needed someone to love him back. I loved him when he didn’t feel loved. I loved him enough to realize that I was no longer his mom, but now I was his friend. I loved him, when he was unsure of his future, I loved him when he was afraid to trust me. I LOVED HIM when he finally realized how much I LOVED HIM. I LOVED HIM. YES, I am technically his AUNT…. But I loved him, as if he were my own AND HE KNEW I LOVED HIM. That is WHY I call him my son! HE IS MY SON !
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June 2016
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