It’s quite common for young people to go through the ups and downs of adolescence and to feel their emotional states intensely. So how do we determine what is within a normal range and when we should be concerned?
Warning signsResearch shows that there are some key warning signs to be aware of. Warning signs are similar to 'clues' or 'red flags'.
Some warning signs may be easier to detect, such as when a young person may express a wish to die.
Other signs are harder to uncover – in these cases, emotions and feelings may be hidden from family or friends. What’s important to keep in mind is that you are looking for dramatic changes in behaviour and mood over a relatively short period of time.
Take all warning signs seriously. If you feel someone is in immediate danger, call 000. Never leave a potentially suicidal young person alone. Stay until help arrives.
Watch for dramatic changes in behaviours. Monitor changes, ask questions.
One way to monitor a young person’s behaviour is to listen to how they talk to their peers. Watch what they may be saying on online sites such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. If you suspect something is wrong, talk to the young person. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
GRIEF & THE HOLIDAYS“Holidays are time spent with loved ones” was imprinted on our psyche from a young age. Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and they generally represent time spent with family. They bring meaning to certain days and we bring much meaning back to them. But since holidays are for being with those we love the most, how on earth can anyone be expected to cope with them when a loved one has died? For many people, this is the hardest part of grieving, when we miss our loved ones even more than usual.How can you celebrate togetherness when there is none? When you have lost someone special, your world losses its celebratory qualities. Holidays only magnify the loss. The sadness feels sadder and the loneliness goes deeper. The need for support may be the greatest during the holidays. Pretending you don’t hurt and or it is not a harder time of the year is just not the truth for you. If it wasn’t harder you probably wouldn’t be here. You can and will get through the holidays. Rather than avoiding the feelings of grief, lean into them. It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. There are a number of ways to incorporate your loved one and your loss into the holidays.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, New YearsThese are the biggest and usually most challenging of all. You can and will get through the Holidays. Rather than avoiding the feelings of grief, lean into them. It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. Grief is our internal feelings and mourning is our external expressions.
Ways to externalize the loss – give it a time and a place
Cancel the Holiday all together. Yes, you can cancel the Holiday. If you are going through the motions and feeling nothing, cancel them. Take a year off. They will come around again. For others, staying involved with the Holidays is a symbol of life continuing. Let the Holiday routine give you a framework during these tough times.
Try the Holidays in a new way. Grief has a unique way of giving us the permission to really evaluate what parts of the Holidays you enjoy and what parts you don’t. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to handle the Holidays in grief. You have to decide what is right for you and do it. You have every right to change your mind, even a few times. Friends and family members may not have a clue how to help you through the Holidays and you may not either.
It is very natural to feel you may never enjoy the Holidays again. They will certainly never be the same as they were. However, in time, most people are able to find meaning again in the traditions as a new form of the Holiday Spirit grows inside of them. Even without grief, our friends and relatives often think they know how our Holidays should look, what “the family” should and shouldn’t do.
Do’s and Don’ts
Valentines DayValentines Day is a day to honor our spouse, girlfriend / boyfriend or anyone we are romantically involved with in the present. The past can represent a hole in your heart where your loved one used to be.
Just RememberHolidays are clearly some of the roughest terrain we navigate after a loss. The ways we handle them are as individual as we are. What is vitally important is that we be present for the loss in whatever form the holidays do or don’t take. These holidays are part of the journey to be felt fully. They are usually very sad, but sometimes we may catch ourselves doing okay, and we may even have a brief moment of laughter. You don’t have to be a victim of the pain or the past. When the past calls, let it go to voice mail…it has nothing to say. You don’t have to be haunted by the pain or the past. You can remember and honor the love. Whatever you experience, just remember that sadness is allowed because death, as they say, doesn’t take a holiday.
Even without grief, our friends and relatives often think they know how our holidays should look, what the family should and shouldn’t do. Now more than ever, be gentle with yourself. Don’t do more than you want, and don’t do anything that does not serve your soul and your loss.
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To date, we are represented by all the colored states, how exciting!
Do you know anyone in the white states??
Invite your friends and family to join in our mission to spread hope around the world.
Looking for volunteers and members in the following states: Invite your friends and family.
Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Vermont, Wyoming
We are currently represented by 14 states, Canada, Australia, United Kingdom, India, South Africa, Venezuala, Italy, New Zealand, Brazil, Algeria, Saudi Arabia, Ireland, Indonesia, Bangladesh, and Pakistan.
I cannot begin to tell you how excited we are to know that we have so much support around the world wanting to share in the mission of Shane's Hearts of Hope. We wish for everyone that we come into contact with that you will be blessed with the same feelings that we experience knowing that you are out there.
If you know anyone in the countries or states that are not represented yet, please share our mission and ask them to join us.
We are blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful individuals.
Thank you for your support and blessings.
We are thrilled to announce that we will be participating in the Out of the Darkness walk at Kirby Park, Wilkes Barre, PA this year.
If you would like to join our team as a virtual walker or if you are local we would be happy to have you join us. Click on the link below:
A huge thank you to Harley's Decals for their generous donation of a window sticker for advertising on our vehicle.
You can find all kinds of window decals on their website www.Harleysdecals.com or their Ebay store Ebay ID Carmen1268 on Ebay.com
Prior to this donation I purchased an "In Memory Of" vinyl decal from them and their work is awesome.
God Bless this business for their support of Shane's Hearts of Hope.
Shane's Hearts of Hope was born out of the need for our family to continue honoring the life of a son, a nephew, a brother, a cousin and a friend.
Our dear Shane made a life changing decision on January 18, 2015 that not only ended his life, but changed ours forever. Being a suicide survivor has taught us many things, the biggest lesson learned is that we appreciate every moment of every day with every person we are blessed to know.
Sometimes we forget that life is so short and we forget to tell one another how much we mean to each other. Shane's Hearts of Hope is an effort to remind ourselves, remind others we love and remind complete strangers that their life matters.
I may not know you personally, but I know that you are loved by many. We are praying that Shane's Hearts of Hope will touch you and remind you that you are a special, you have a special place in someone's life and you are loved.
Our mission at Shane's Hearts of Hope is to provide small moments of hope, encouragement and love to all who find our hearts.
We collect handmade hearts that are crocheted or knit by our wonderful team of volunteers. The hearts are tagged and given for FREE to anyone who wishes to spread hope to someone who needs a pick-me-up or to be left in public places for others to find.
Each heart has a tag attached with an encouraging saying or quote reminding the recipient that they are special. Additionally, the tag has a request of the recipient in which we ask that if they are able, to share a photo of the heart they 'discovered' and post it to our Facebook page.
OUR HOPE is that with each of Shane's Hearts of Hope the recipient will have a moment of love that will touch their lives and will provide them with the knowledge that they matter.